Dinner Date
by Crookykanks
Summary: Forget another date did she,' Miss Elphaba's grin widened and Fiyero swore. Musicalverse and much sillier than my usual.


Fiyero heaved as he raced up the stairwell to dorm room 22. He had told Galinda he would meet her there to take her out tonight, but Boq's monologue on "what to say when speaking to the famous Miss Galinda Upland" had gone on much longer than Fiyero had counted on, making him over half-and-hour late, including the extra time Galinda would have needed on her own.

Skidding to a halt outside of the wooden door of dorm 22, Fiyero placed a polite knock in the dead center of the door, right between the golden cursive of Galinda's name plate and the black scrawl of her unusual and somewhat (well, perhaps more than "somewhat") antisocial roommate. He barely had time to smooth back his slightly frazzled hair before a sharp voice cut through the wood.

"Miss Galinda Upland is currently unavailable. Please knock once to leave a message, knock twice to learn where she is, and three times to learn when she'll be back. For additional options, barge on in, the door's unlocked."

Fiyero sighed and, upon deciding not to entertain Miss Elphaba Thropp any further, pushed the door open roughly. The odd green girl looked up from her tightly curled position at the head of her bed and gave Fiyero a slight smirk.

"Ah! The Winkie Prince. What can I do for you on this clear and splendidly giggle free night?"

"All of the above, Miss Thropp, and be quick please, I'm late." Setting down the ancient tome she had previously been focused on, Elphaba rattled off in a steady monotone-

"Miss Galinda departed with the Misses ShenShen and Pfannee about two hours ago and is not due back until eleven. They were headed out to 'tea' although I don't believe that for a clock tick and anyone who does should room with Master Boq and hope between them to conjure up a complete brain."

Ignoring the last part of Elphaba's statement, Fiyero glanced at the time. 7:24. He swore softly, producing yet another and much wider smirk from Elphaba.

"Forget another date did she?"

"That's one way of putting it." Fiyero suppressed a long string of curses in order to study his current options. He could arrive without a date, but no, that would hardly go over well. He could find another girl, but then he'd have to get rid of her later- unless-

"Well how would _you_ put it?" Fiyero looked up absent mindedly at the green girl. It would never work. How could he show up with someone like her? No. He'd have to try something else.

"She's given me a fabulous excuse to kill her mercilessly." Another smirk and a soft cackle. Fiyero had, after much time and more than a little effort, begun to get used to his girlfriend's… _eccentric_ roommate. He found himself again considering the option. Perhaps… perhaps it wouldn't hurt to ask…

"Ah… Miss Elphaba?" a non-committal 'hmm' ensued from the bed in front of him. Fiyero stepped forward slowly.

"Miss Elphie?" That got her attention. Wide-eyed she stared at him, silently asking where he had gotten the nerve to use the obscenely _perky_ nickname. "How would you consider…er… replacing Galinda on this… outing tonight?"

Fiyero winced the moment he had spoken the words, bracing himself for the biting reply that would surely follow, or perhaps a piercing cackle and thud as she laughed herself right off the bed. Looking at the situation from her eyes, Fiyero couldn't say he'd blame her. The scandalous prince from the Vinkus asking the school reject (well that was a bit harsh… outcast, perhaps) out on a date of all things to-

"What?" Elphaba's harsh voice cut sharply into Fiyero's thoughts. Calming himself, Fiyero tried to act natural.

"Well, why not? I mean, you're…er… _sensitive_, and kind, I suppose, and er… female, I guess-" The incredulous look on Elphaba's emerald features told him that his feeble attempts at flattery were too far off base to even be recognizable. Maybe he should try something else, or at least _someone_ else. Fiyero checked the time again. 7:28. _Damn_. She would have to do.

"Who put you up to this?"

Fiyero didn't even hear Elphaba's question, lost in planning as he was. Galinda wouldn't be back for hours, she'd never know if her roommate used a dress. Maybe some make-up. Fiyero knew enough about women to understand the basics of make-up. Surely Galinda had enough foundation for her roommate's face. After all, they would only be out for a little while. Fiyero hadn't even noticed that he had begun to pace the room and was startled by a very firm and quite green hand on his shoulder.

"Fiyero, what's going on?"

"I need a date tonight, Miss Elphaba." There was that look again. Fiyero stoutly ignored the climbing eyebrow and went back to his thoughts.

"Well, I'd gathered that much. Why you would possibly need a date so badly as to ask _me_ is what I'm wondering." Oh, well, she'd need to know that anyway. Grabbing Elphaba's hand off his shoulder and dragging her to Galinda's dresser, he started pulling out the drawer searching for the powder he knew had to be there _somewhere_. Upon locating a decent tone of the stuff, he shoved it into Elphaba's free hand, grunting at her to put it on before moving over to the elaborate wardrobe and throwing it open.

"What the hell, Fiyero?"

Turning, he faced her for only a second, telling her in a single sentence all she needed to know. Elphaba's jaw dropped awkwardly and she cast her eyes down at the make-up in her palm as though unable to decide whether to laugh, scream, or simply go along with it. It took her only a moment to realize she didn't have much choice in the matter.

After all, Fiyero's parents expected him to have a date at their dinner tonight.

* * *

Elphaba could hardly believe her eyes as she looked in Galinda's mirror. Her green skin was covered in a powdery paste that she was sure her oils wouldn't be able wash off for days, and to soften the effect she had even, albeit grudgingly, agreed to wear lipstick, eyeliner, and a bit of blush. Together, she and Fiyero had been able to pull together a reasonable outfit combining her own closet with Galinda's: a white jacket and skirt (the longest they could find, reaching a few inches past the knees) with sky blue ribbons from the elaborate wardrobe and tall white boots with matching gloves from the accessories cabinet. Also a long sleeved black top, a pair of stockings (just in case) and a dazzling scarf from her own drawers, enough to cover every inch of her body except for her face. Elphaba mildly wondered when she would cross the line between looking chilled and resembling a tic-toc machine employed in a clothing store. Fiyero assured her that she would not look out of place in the cold air outside. Elphaba silently wished for an outdoor table at whatever unlucky restaurant they would visit.

"You do realize I haven't actually agreed to this yet."

"You're sitting in front of me caked in Galinda's make-up. You won't turn back now." Elphaba was forced to admit the truth in this.

"This won't work."

"I repeat my previous statement." Elphaba sighed. There really was no winning with these Shiz boys.

"What else will you need me to do?" Elphaba asked in a defeated tone as she began to wind her hair up into a tight knot, briefly exposing the back of her neck.

"Just tell my mother that you're Galinda Upland from the Upper Uplands and try to use a Gillikin accent. Leave everything else to me. And leave your hair down will you?" Elphaba huffed, but obliged. Fiyero opened the door of the dorm room, bowing mockingly as Elphaba approached, and checked the time yet again. 7:46. Good. They wouldn't be _too_ late.

"You do know this won't work?"

"Would you please shut up, _Galinda Upland_?" Fiyero cooed as Elphaba regally stormed out the door.

* * *

The second they reached the outer halls of Shiz, Elphaba was glad of her many layers of clothing. The bitter cold bit at her nose through the powder and stung her eyes. Fiyero delicately put his arms around her shoulders and steered her in the direction of the off campus Shiz cafés. For the entire length of the walk to the designated café, Fiyero incessantly coached Elphaba on what to say, how to act, proper table manners, ("I wasn't raised in a barn, Fiyero!") and anything else that could possibly be an issue. Approaching the doors of a quaint little restaurant (with no outdoor seating, Elphaba noticed bitterly), Fiyero yanked her gracelessly off to the side and whispered fervently-

"One last thing, _no politics_. Be Galinda. Just for the next few hours forget that you care. You can talk my ear off the whole way back to campus, but here, leave it all be." Elphaba grimaced but nodded stiffly nonetheless. Fiyero had just begun to turn to the door when he whipped back around, nearly hitting Elphaba's nose with his own and whispered fervently, "and let other people get a few words in edgewise will you?"

Elphaba nodded again and sternly fought the urge to stick out her tongue at the Vinkus Prince's back.

The moment she entered the café, Elphaba felt overly warm and stuffy. Her hands flew to her neck absent mindedly to loosen her scarf, but Fiyero caught them deftly, dragging her along to a center table with copious lighting. Elphaba worked hard to suppress a wince and instead forced her face to produce a tight smile. _Is this what Galinda goes through at those horrible parties?_ Tuning in Fiyero's voice she heard herself being introduced.

"—I'd like you all to meet Miss Galinda Upland from Gillikin."

"That's from the Upper Uplands, dear." Elphaba taunted. She could not keep all the threatening sarcasm out of her voice, but her heightened pitch and hint of Gillikin she had learned from endless nights of trying to ignore her roommate covered the biting tone of her statement. Fiyero's face contorted for just a moment as though he was trying to both laugh and scream simultaneously, then he settled back into a soft smile. Elphaba felt the pressure on her hands sharply increase as a means of payback. She smiled tersely before turning her attention to the table and people before her.

_Damn._

There were at least twenty-five people sitting around the table, two men near them already looked slightly drunk, a couple of young women were giggling maddeningly at Lurline knew what, two small boys were putting what looked like hot tea on one of the two empty chairs, one girl who looked no more than six was slowly sliding out of her chair and under the table, and the graying woman in the middle dressed in rich finery wore a look of deepest disdain. Hadn't Fiyero said it would only be his immediate family? Or had Elphaba perhaps only assumed that detail? Who were all these people? Surely the Tiggulars hadn't brought the whole castle with them?

Elphaba stole a glance at Fiyero and decided from his own rather shocked expression that this had been a bigger turnout than he had expected as well. He recovered rather quickly, though, and led Elphaba gingerly to one of the empty chairs, taking the wet one for himself and wincing as he sat down in the hot liquid. He was rewarded with a sympathetic glance from his _date_.

"Well," The stern voice coming from the disdainful woman in the middle was enough to quiet even the youngest children with only a single word. "Now that we know the name of Fiyero's lovely maiden, I suppose we should introduce ourselves. Fiyero, would you care to do the honors?" Elphaba was unsurprised to learn that this woman was the queen.

She would tell herself later that she _had_ been listening to the strange Vinkus names that Fiyero called out, but Elphaba soon gave up on trying to pronounce each one and settled instead into a simple, "How do you do?" or "Nice to meet you" and a complementary "ma'am" or "sir." It was only when the young women were introduced that she had problems. Too young and too perky to be referred to as "ma'am" but also too, for lack of a better term, _royal_ for the customary Shizian "hey, you!", Elphaba struggled to grasp each of the odd names of all five giddy women. By the time Fiyero got around to the small children, the young girl had fully disappeared under the table cloth and one of the boys was inching his way down to follow her. Elphaba tucked her feet up closely under her chair, steadying herself for what was sure to become an odd game of tag before dinner was through. However, she was grateful for two fewer names to commit to memory. Srijaki and Amilee had been difficult enough to remember. It seemed the Vinkus names become more radical with each generation, as though the adults refused to name their children after others and were forced to come up with odd combinations of letters, regardless of whether they were able to be pronounced by any other tongues in Oz.

Fiyero rather suddenly leaned over and interrupted Elphaba's thoughts on the naming system of the Vinkus and whispered-

"Relax, dear. You look like you're ready to vomit on us all."

Elphaba, feeling his comment was not too far off the mark, was unable to come up with a witty reply.

Although dinner had begun to pass and hardly a word was said to her _(is this how guests are treated in the Vinkus?)_ Elphaba remained quite tense and sat on the edge of her seat, her back parallel to that of the chair, only a good foot away from it. She picked at her food more than eating it and spoke only in short, direct sentences to anyone who tried to stir up a conversation with her.

"So tell me, Miss Galinda, how is the shopping up in Gillikin these days? Of course I haven't been in some time, but I do try to keep up with the fashion of the day-"

Elphaba jumped and nearly lost her death grip on her fork at the queen's stern voice. _Oh, where was Galinda when she was actually needed?_ Fiyero cast a worried look at Elphaba, knowing that she had never been to Gillikin and hadn't ever really cared for fashion. Elphaba rather suddenly felt oddly self-concious about her outfit, which abruptly felt rather jumbled and overly warm.

"Oh, with the work load at Shiz and all, I've hardly had time to keep up," She tried. It wasn't entirely unbelievable. _Unless you're actually Galinda Upland_. "Fiyero and I barely have time to get out for coffee and drinks in the evenings, and we like to try and stay together. I wouldn't drag him on a midnight shopping course." Elphaba gave Fiyero a half smile that plainly stated, 'If you tell anyone at Shiz about this I will slit your throat." Fiyero rather graciously concentrated on his plate. The Queen, however, was not done.

"But what with that expensive make-up you must get out rather frequently,"

_Damn Galinda and her obsession with fashion._

"Oh, this?" Elphaba tried to laugh, though it came out as more of a choking sound, "I would hardly know! A gift from my sister that came in only last week as an early present for Lurlinemas! She knew she would not be able to send me anything any later as she is currently working on a … ah … research project in Munchkinland." Elphaba prayed, yes prayed, that Galinda had a sister or cousin or _something_ who had visited Munchkinland to back this up. For all Elphaba knew, Galinda was the last of the Upper Uplands and none of them had ever been further east than the border of the Glikkus. Family wasn't a popular subject in dorm 22.

"Really?" The Queen pressed, a firm note in her voice that made even Elphaba shrink back in her seat, "How fascinating. What will she be doing, my dear?"

_Damn. _Why was the woman so intent on conversation with her?

"Oh, well, she'll be working with the children of the area. Teaching them skills they would need for city life as many of them only know life on the farms." This was surely the fastest, most intricate lie Elphaba had ever come up with, "She hopes that one day the Munchkins will become much more common in places like the Emerald City and Shiz."

"You sound like you don't agree."

Double damn. _Politics._

Elphaba bit back a stream of thoughts about Animal Banns and the rights of the state of Munchkinland, forced the smile on her lips to tighten and replied shortly,

"Oh, she thinks they're so _cute_."

Fiyero, next to her, nearly spit out his drink and began to cough. It was enough of a distraction to end the conversation and the Queen turned away from Elphaba.

"You know I'll have to tell Boq you said that," Fiyero whispered, still wheezing a bit. Elphaba acquiesced to this with a sigh, but asked Fiyero not to twist the story and encourage Boq's affections toward Miss Upland. Fiyero agreed, though Elphaba still wasn't quite sure if she trusted him. Sighing, Elphaba rubbed her eyelids with gloved fingers, trying to rid herself of a sudden headache brought on by the mess. After a moment she fell back into her routine of one-lined answers and picking at her food. For the most part, this wasn't difficult until one of the five giddy girls (the one seated nearest to her) spoke up.

"Why, Miss Galinda! What a lovely shade of eye shadow! Wherever did you purchase it?"

Elphaba was in between trying to remember this particular girl's name and coming up with a reasonable name for make-up when it occurred to her that eye shadow was _not_ one of Galinda's products that she had used. _Then what was she talking about?_

"Ah, silly me," Elphaba said, giggling nervously and shifting anxiously in her chair, "I seem to have forgotten the shade I used, and I don't have a hand mirror on me. Could you remind me which color it is so I might remember?" It was a long shot, but knowing Galinda, entirely possible. Fiyero, sensing trouble, perked up and tilted his head enough to be doubtlessly listening in.

"Why, it's the most beauticious shade of emerald green."

Cursing and fearing the worst, Elphaba stole a glance at her gloves. Sure enough, they had traces of the powder still covering her fingertips. Elphaba inhaled deeply. She would escape and remedy the situation as soon as she could. Looking up, her eyes met Fiyero's and exchanged a rather frantic glance. She could tell Fiyero saw the smudge in the make-up as well. She wished she could ask him then and there if it looked natural or she needed to get out.

"Of course, silly me, I believe it's called Ev Fern, from the-" _Oh, what was Galinda's make-up called again?_ "-Ozmopolitan Collection. Yes, that's right. Ah, could you excuse me just a clock tick?"

Elphaba didn't wait for an answer and stood so hurriedly she nearly knocked her chair over. Not bothering to excuse herself any further, she dashed to the restrooms as quickly as she could without drawing extra attention to herself. Reaching the ladies room, Elphaba studied herself in the mirror. The smudge was incredibly uneven and Elphaba swore as she plucked off the gloves. She had not brought the make-up with her as a back up (she realized now why Galinda's hand bags were so large. Why have something like this if it only flakes off and smears at the most inappropriate of times?) Using her bare fingers, Elphaba smeared off a bit more of the powder, giving herself the appearance of moderately applied, if not well matched color-wise, eye shadow. She worked at the effect for a good five minutes before feeling in the least bit comfortable with it.

"Good to see your feeling alright, then." Elphaba jumped, "You ran out so quickly we all thought you were going to puke or something. Yero doesn't have you pregnant, does he?"

Hiding her hands behind her back and trying not to be any more startled by the blunt, and slightly off-color joke, Elphaba turned to face the speaker. It was the same girl who had pointed out the smearing in the first place, Amilee, was it?

"Don't worry. I didn't mean it, honest. I'm Fiyero's sister, the second of three, and I just wanted to ask you a few questions, though it is nice to see you got that shadow straightened out. I think you smudged it somewhere along the way."

"Oh, yes, I rubbed my eyes earlier," Elphaba supplied, reaching blindly on the counter behind her for the gloves. She hoped Amilee wouldn't look in the mirror and see the green hands fumbling around on the counter.

"You're new to make-up then. Did Fiyero ask you to wear it? Wouldn't be the first time he's done something like that."

"Oh, it was for the best, I think." Elphaba replied evasively. Locating the gloves, she snatched them off the counter and stuffed her hands roughly into them.

"Complexion problems? Me too. Acne for the longest time. Let me tell you, covering it does fine for one night, but don't do it often. It's a pain to get off in the evening. I've always found that a bit of thyme mixed with Quoxsap does the job nicely.

Elphaba simply nodded, unable to come up with a suitable response. Was this what all girls did in the public restrooms? Talk about their personal appearance issues? If so, did this girl have a temporary remedy for green skin? It might come in handy should Fiyero, or any other future boyfriend of Galinda's ever do this to her again. However, Elphaba decided not to ask, and instead tried to catch up to whatever Amilee was saying to her.

"-and I don't mean to say that you _aren't _the one, because you certainly could be, but I'm not sure if Fiyero has been satisfied with these girls he keeps showing us, and Mama certainly hasn't been. I don't know what she's looking for. I think Fiyero needs to date an uglier girl so he can appreciate how wonderful all these society girls he's found are. Mama just needs to lighten up and realize that Fiyero can find a girl on his own, and whoever he finds, she doesn't need to have the brilliant mind and sense of politics that Mama has. _I_ certainly never needed it-"

Elphaba started. The queen was looking for a girl who knew politics? Well, she'd show Fiyero. Leaving Amilee in the restroom, as she was apparently quite content to gibber on to the stalls, Elphaba calmly strode back to the table feeling much more confident now that she was in her own playing field. The moment she had slid gracefully back into her seat, Fiyero giving the make-up the once over and a letting out a half-smile, Elphaba turned to the majestic woman in the center of the table and asked-

"So, what is the Vinkus's stand on Animal rights?"

Fiyero let out a harsh choke and moved to shush Elphaba, but the Queen perked up considerably.

"Well, since you're interested, we certainly don't agree with the Wizard on these matters."

"Nor do I, ma'am," Elphaba cut in regally, "But being from society in the Gillikin, I hadn't come into much contact with Animals and did not know of the troubles until quite recently. I had hoped that I could find some political basis for my theories in the Life Science classes, dealing with the separation of Life and life in humans and Animals."

Fiyero looked ready to strangle her with the well placed scarf around her neck, but the Queen was delighted.

"Ah, so Fiyero _does_ have a sense of girls. I never would have guessed." She launched into the topic with a vigor that obviously surprised her slightly drunken husband. Fiyero's jaw dropped. So _this_ was why his mother was always so cold to the girls he brought to meet her. And to his sisters, he supposed. Amilee in particular was every bit as air headed as her personality let on. Her superior attitude was noble in itself and her manners in society settings were top-notch, but no one with half a brain to speak of would let her run the Vinkus for more than an hour. She'd probably have it painted her favorite shade of yellow from grass roots to roof tops.

Amazed, Fiyero watched his mother and the odd green girl he'd come to respect debate the day's politics for the rest of dinner.

And the following half hour past that.

* * *

"And that was the basis of the conversation." Elphaba concluded. It was nearly quarter till eleven when Fiyero had finally walked Elphaba back to her dorm, the two of them brushing at her make-up the whole way.

"Good of my sister to make the comment, I suppose."

"I still can't believe she didn't catch me in the restroom. Even Galinda would have noticed something odd the way I was flouncing about trying to hide my hands." They laughed as Elphaba imitated her own frantic search for Galinda's gloves.

"Thank you immensely, Miss Thropp, for everything tonight. You saved my neck twice over. I'm afraid I may be indebted to you now." Fiyero mockingly hid his face from the shame. Elphaba swatted at him with one of the now removed gloves.

"It's not all that bad. How about repaying me by dropping the honorific." Fiyero finally found his turn to raise an eyebrow inquisitively back at Elphaba, whose hands went up in a sharp, powder covered defense, "I'm not asking you to call me Elphie or anything, but a first name basis will do, don't you think?" She grinned at him. A real grin, not her typical smirk.

"Might Galinda think I've taken a liking to you, _Elphaba_?" Fiyero taunted.

"Galinda won't even notice, _Yero_." There was that smirk. Fiyero started a bit, then glared at her for the use of his sisters' often derogatory nickname.

"I'll be seeing you in the morning lectures then, Elphie." There was no need for Elphaba to suppress an urge to stick out her tongue at him now, so she did. Fiyero winked as he shut the door. Elphaba then kicked off Galinda's boots, which had begun to hurt her feet near the end of dinner, and threw her jacket across the foot Galinda's bed. It took Elphaba almost ten minutes to locate the original locations for all of her roommate's borrowed clothing, but Elphaba was supremely confident in her efforts once she was back in her own frock. She had just sat back down on her own bed with her ancient tome spread wide in her lap when Galinda burst through the door in all her fluffy pink finery.

It took only a moment for Galinda to launch into great pointless details about her fabulous night out in society. It took even less time for Elphaba to tune her out completely. It was surprising therefore, when Galinda stopped mid-word and addressed Elphaba directly.

"Miss Elphaba," She began, a puzzled look on her face. Elphaba's wore a similar expression in reaction to her roommate's unusual attentions, "why on earth are you wearing that powder smeared across your face like that?"

Damn. She had never taken off that make-up, had she? Not while looking in a mirror anyway.

"Ah, Fiyero came by earlier looking for you," that much at least was true, "And got rather angry when you weren't here," as was that, "So he encountered a bit of madness and threw the powder you had left on the dresser at me when I told him to tell his company you were out." Not too far off from the truth at all, "I was so busy straightening everything else up I must have forgotten to clean myself up. I'll take care of that now, thank you."

Her careful wording hadn't mattered in the slightest. Galinda had stopped listing at the name "Fiyero." She stood dumbly in the center of the room and only let out a loud wail of anguish at forgetting her date once Elphaba had retreated into the bathroom.

Elphaba heaved a loud sigh and fell against the bathroom door in an exhausted heap. She would _never_ let anyone talk her into something that crazy again.

Well, no one but Fiyero, anyway.


End file.
